Some mornings we’re overstimulated from the moment we open our eyes. Some mornings just don’t feel right. Some mornings, nothing will go according to plan. Some mornings we’ll discover unsettling news. Some mornings we’ll cry. Some mornings we’ll have heavy hearts. Some mornings, our sadness will dampen our pillows. Some mornings we’ll be anxious. Some mornings we won’t recognize ourselves.

And for those mornings, here are some reminders.

1. An easy life is mythical. Some part of it will always be hard.

2. You can do hard things. You can survive hard days.

3. Your feelings are valid.

4. You’re more than this moment.

5. There will be times when the tides are low. Savor those moments. Lean into the consideration of the currents.

6. You have to find peace in the fact that you’ll never understand why (and that’s okay).

7. They weren’t ready for your world.

8. If it keeps making you feel this way… leave. It’ll all be okay.

9. You’re being protected from something disastrous right now. Hold tight.

10. Your boundaries are clear now. It won’t happen again.

11. Beautiful things come from you.

12. When your energy is good, nothing more matters.

13. They will have you fucked up. In every lifetime. Do not be alarmed.

14. You were built for better.

15. This is only temporary. More is coming.

16. Pretty girls do pretty things, think pretty things, and say pretty things.

17. You are not your current situation.

18. Joy comes.

19. This is only a section of your story. Not the full novel. Not a full chapter.

20. Don’t feed into the negativity.

21. People are miserable. Don’t join them.

22. Keep your energy clean. Good things will find you.

feel better babes.

xo, grey.

I’ll just say it. I think the sexiest woman is a fragrant woman. There’s nothing more arousing than a woman who smells like her pussy talks back.

The kind of woman who doesn’t spray lightly.

The kind of woman who isn’t worried about running out of her favorite scents.

The kind of woman who has a signature scent.

The kind of woman who isn’t afraid of a little gourmand.

The kind of woman who spritzes her hair and all her pressure points.

The kind of woman who intentionally sprays behind the ear, knowing that when a man leans over so she can hear him better, he’ll be overwhelmed with her essence.

The kind of woman who can layer perfumes like she does her personality.

The kind of woman whose fragrance speaks first.

The kind of woman who starts her evening fragrance ritual with parfum oil.

The kind of woman who writes her fragrance obsession into her paychecks.

The kind of woman who has a bedtime fragrance.

The kind of woman who has a work-day fragrance.

The kind of woman who has a dinner, date night, girls’ night, and fucking all night fragrance.

That’s the ideal woman I’m writing to, for, and about in The Huffington Note. And as a perfumer, on the brink of releasing SS02 of my fragrance line, I think you should take the list from my haul yesterday to the store the next time you visit the perfume aisle.

Understand—

This is not my full perfume list. This is everything I purchased yesterday while perfume shopping.

1. Marc Jacobs | Perfect Elixir Eau de Parfum $99: This purchase wasn’t for me personally. However, I love the way it smells on the skin. I’m a sucker for ambers and woods and oranges in fragrances. This one embodies them all without one or the other overpowering the sweetness of the final fragrance.

   

2. Valentino | Donna Born in Roma Purple Melancholia Eau de Parfum $180: I am obsessed with the Born in Roma fragrance series from Valentino. This fragrance is one I’ve been considering but hadn’t purchased until I smelled it with fresh nostrils yesterday. Delightful.

   

3. YSL: L’Homme Eau de Toilette $130: This one is too good to be true. Bergamot, ginger, florals, and fresh woods give this fragrance a masculine identity, but I’ve never been afraid to wear something that suits the feminine profile regardless of its masculinity. This fragrance fits the mold. I love it. It is clean, crisp, yet spicy and mysterious. They will smell you coming.

   

4. Mugler | Starlicious Pistachio Praline Hair & Body Fragrance Mist $49: It’s nutty. It’s warm. It’s sweet. It gives caramel. It gives pistachio. It gives praline. I’m in love. And as someone who has begun building a hair fragrance collection, I was sold from the first whiff.

   

5. Marc Jacobs | Daisy Wild Eau de Parfum $165: The perfumers know exactly what they’re doing over there at Marc Jacobs with this one. I never imagined loving banana on my skin. Absolutely no one could’ve made me believe I would. But this fragrance has changed my mind. It is bright. And fruity. And girly. A summery.

   

6. NEST New York | Madagascar Vanilla Perfume Oil $108: Immediately yes. This Perfume Oil is rich (and small, haha). My only complaint is that it's not bigger. I could use 3.4oz of this one. Vanilla. Coconut. Florals. Just so warm and inviting. Obsessed.

   

7. NEST New York | Balinese Coconut Perfume Oil $108: Again. Immediately yes. There’s coconut. There’s musk. There’s vanilla. There’s fruit. There’s saltiness. Baby, there’s everything I need in 3.4oz, but I will settle for the few drops I have in this bottle.

   

8. Saltaire | Serum Infused Nourishing Body Wash $14: I wanted to love the santal scent, but this one caught my attention instead. Sandalwood. Vanilla. Coconut. Florals. There’s nothing more I need to say.

   

9. Kylie Cosmetics | Mood Stones Kylie Jenner Collection Velvet Brew Eau de Parfum $68: Admittedly, I wanted the free mirror. That’s all. It’s beautiful. I’ve never purchased Kylie Cosmetics, but I’m not mad at the fragrance at all. It’s very gourmand. It smells edible. Drinkable. Like coffee, but simultaneously not. This scent is incredibly bold. The subtle plum and orange and amber notes make it worth wearing, especially in the fall and winter months.

   

   

This haul also included:

• Everyday lashes

• Lash glue (lasts up to 5 days)

• Skin care (replenishing my favorites)

Because a woman who smells good and tastes good should also look good (more about that in my other articles). I’ve enjoyed this article. The content feels unfamiliar but necessary… like the back of the magazines when I was younger.

I hope this helps you navigate the perfume aisle with more confidence next time. If you’re at all curious about what’s in SS02 of my fragrance line, here you go:

• Lyric Parfum | citrus, bergamot, amber, plum, and pepper

• Summer Parfum | lemon, jasmine, mango, orange, vanilla bean

• Knight Parfum | tonka, cedar, vanilla orchid, cacao, tangerine, and bergamot

• Channing Parfum Oil | amber, vanilla, driftwood, and saffron.

Lyric + Summer are my official summer scents. As the weather begins to cool, I will be wearing the cap off my personal bottle of Knight.

HuffingtonFragranceHouse.com (August 28th)

Goodnight girls.

xo, grey.

P.S. Let the vain summer continue.

Chop off the hair.

Change the city.

Change the career.

Enroll in those classes.

Seek the new degree.

Visit that country alone.

Change routes.

Change hair colors.

Change the wardrobe.

Change peers.

Change churches.

Change the heart.

Change the mind.

Change the life.

She’s dicey. She’s unpredictable. She’s often second-born. And risks and rewards are equally yoked for her. Neither is greater than the other.

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I am her, and if I were to make a list for the women who want to become her, then here’s how it would read:

1. Every day of the week is fuck everybody day.

This is not a drill. Seriously, fuck everyone. To become the change you desire, you must first understand that the opinions of others do not hold relevancy in your court. Worrying about others will keep you where you are. I haven’t given a single fuck since I was a young girl. A kid. A child. And, til this day, I’m still wondering if I’ll ever have a fuck to give. I highly doubt it.

Sunday. Monday. Tuesday. Wednesday. Thursday. Friday. Saturday. Sunday.

Never skip a day. If you do, you’ll regret it.

2. Pretend.

The moment you realize you want to become a better version of yourself, don’t wait. Start immediately. Speak as she would. Shop as she would. Laugh as she would. Write as she would. Travel as she would. Dress as she would.

Look like her. Act like her. Become her.

Practice makes perfect. Before I became the woman I am today, I auditioned daily for the role. Eventually, it became mine. Permanently if I chose it. However, because I am addicted to change, I am always striving to be a better version of myself.

3. Hold yourself accountable.

Talk to yourself. Take full responsibility for the person you are today. Understand that the only way for true change to happen is to be honest about where you are and where you want to be. Do not be afraid to look in the mirror. Do not be afraid to face the person staring back at you.

4. What you say to yourself matters most.

When the lights are off, and the comforter clings to your skin, the thoughts that arise are the ones that will fuel change. Or regression. Or stagnation. Or defeat. You must find the courage and the strength to remind yourself of where you are trying to go and how beautiful it’ll be once you get there. Think positively even when it’s not the easiest thing to do. Tell yourself more often than not that change is coming and patience is part of the process.

5. Track your habits.

Accountability is such a big part of this journey. You’ll need it every step of the way. Tracking your habits keeps you informed and helps you better understand where you began to go astray, how easily distracted you are, or how well you are doing. It also boosts your confidence when you see changes being made right before your eyes, even when they’re too small for you to notice.

6. Action.

Most changes occur when the words stop. Because the more someone talks about a change they’re about to make, the more I am certain they’re trying to convince themselves they should make it. The more they try to convince themselves, the more reasons they’ll find to believe otherwise.

The best way to tackle change is by creating actionable steps that will keep you quiet and BUSY. Don’t spend three weeks talking about a change that could’ve happened in two weeks. Don’t spend a month thinking about a change that could’ve taken six days. Don’t go to bed every night for a year dreaming about a change that would’ve taken ninety days.

Get a pen. Get some paper. Make an actionable plan that will keep you on track for change. Make sure you fill it with simple and complex action steps. This helps to keep you from feeling like you’re drowning in to-dos. It can be discouraging otherwise.

7. Never be afraid to unlearn.

It is the fastest form of change. The direct route. No shortcuts. No extra turns. A straight shot. Unlearning behaviors, habits, words, etc. that you’re acclimated with can be challenging. To untrain the brain is never an easy task. But, boy, is it a life-altering task.

8. Cry.

And, I mean ugly cry. I’ve never finished crying as the same person I started crying as. I’m instantly different. I didn’t make these rules. It just happens this way.

Along the path to change will be tears. Because change is scary and hard and altering and soul-stirring and uncertain and daunting. It’s not always fun. Sometimes it’s emotional and carries so much weight that you can barely keep your head high and your mouth above water.

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9. Don’t give up.

You owe yourself change. Not the kind that just happens. Like the seasons and the weather and the rain and the age and the mobility and the wrinkles. No. The intentional kind. The one that steadily drums against your chest as you wait for it to arrive. The kind that builds character. The kind that adds layers. The kind that should be written in history books. The kind that makes life worth living.

And the only way this change will come is if you refuse to give up. The fight in your heart must mirror the one in your mind and in your limbs. Because there will be so many times you’ll want to forget the idea of change even existed in your brain. When your heart can’t fight any longer, your limbs will. When your mind can’t fight any longer, your heart will. When your limbs can’t fight any longer, your mind will. Just make sure they’re not giving up simultaneously.

10. Find someone ready for change too.

There have been so many times I’ve wanted to change something in my life and was prepared to make the changes alone. However, the mere mention of the change to my friend, child, mother, sibling, and I realized I didn’t have to make the change alone. Because they were considering the change, too, and needed the extra push your presence gave.

No one has to hold you accountable but YOU. However, having a second vote of confidence always helps.

11. Remember your why.

The change hardly ever matters. Again, change is so common that we hardly notice it sometimes. It’s always in our faces, but somehow we’re still blind to just how abundant it truly is.

This is the reason your why matters. Why you decided to go on the diet matters more than the diet. Why you decided to begin taking morning walks is more important than the walk. Why you stopped scrolling at night matters more than the scroll. Why you returned an overpriced car matters more than the price. Why you stopped drinking sodas matters more than the sodas.

Remembering your why is the foundation of your change. Never forget it.

12. Be okay with being a first as much as a last.

You will be the first to do many things. Breaking cycles is one of the number one reasons for initiating change. One wants to separate themselves from what was and begin to move toward what could be. This comes through discipline, strength, and the audacity to do it first.

Often, however, you will be the last to make the change. And it is just as important as being the first because they are often parallel.

Ex. Running a 5k race for the first time as a generational procrastinator who was born into a family that doesn’t value health. Yes, you might be the last one to complete the race, but a cycle has been broken, and you’re the first in your family who didn’t shelve your health.

Revisit these affirmations.

1. Change starts with me.

2. I am not where I want to be, but I am far from where I started.

3. Discipline will get me to places my strength can’t.

4. Things will be different soon, and I won’t feel the weight I’m carrying right now.

5. It can start with me.

6. Consistency will be my life partner.

7. I can do the things I put my mind to.

8. It’s tough, but I’m tougher.

9. I deserve everything this change will bring me.

10. Seasons are necessary.

11. Soon, I’ll harvest from the changes I’ve made to my garden.

12. No one else is responsible for the changes I desire.

13. I am not a victim.

14. Small changes can make big impacts.

15. I belong where I’m headed.

16. My fight won’t end until the change has happened.

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Today, Substack notified me of my bestseller status. I felt it was the perfect time to announce something I’ve been working on for a few days now. Since I offered a supportive subscription (because I won’t be charging for my writing), I’ve been wondering how I can repay those who have shown interest and have been supporting this Substack while receiving the same content everyone receives… Well, I have a solution.

The Huffington Tapes:

—video/audio representation of ‘The Huffington Note’. this means, occasional audio and/or video uploads that address or expand on topics highlighted in the huffington note articles. the first audio/video releases on september 1. this section of ‘The Huffington Note’ will only be available to paid subscribers.

—audio/videos include:

1. poetry

2. girl/girl convos

3. article expansion

4. narrated posts (mostly fiction)

Remember: The writing on this Substack is FREE. For those who care to support my creativity can do so by subscribing below. Occasionally, you will receive something special.

Subscribe now

But I beg to differ. Well, not quite beg. I don’t recall begging for anything in my life. It’s rather tasteless, frankly. So, let’s retrace. What I meant was… I disagree.

Snobby.

Conceited.

Selfish.

Haughty.

Unorthodox.

I’d accept those. But I’d also challenge what she’s being compared to or who she’s being compared to. Because history also says that women are meant to be servants caretakers of the home, the husband, the children, and the family structure.

Judging by the parameters history has placed around the idea of what or who a woman is, then the world would like you to believe vain women are useless, troublesome, and difficult. But, truthfully, she’s in tune with the one person she was supposed to forget while continuing to fuel the lifestyle, ego, image, structure, and fire of others.

She’s aware.

Self-aware.

She’s a wanderer.

She’s a wonder.

She’s rare.

And the idea of her existence makes the hairs on the back of necks stand. She rubs most the wrong way. Others want to be her or be next to her or be with her or strip her of the power she possesses.

It’s not her words or her accolades that precede her. Neither is it her position or status or financials. It’s not about where she’s been or what she’s done or what she’s seen. It’s about one thing— One very important thing to her. One that is prioritized day and night and evening and afternoon and wee hours.

It’s her beauty.

And while that might sound senseless, it makes perfect sense. To me.

Without ever saying the words to me, my mother demonstrated one thing that I carry with me like a shield of honor.

How you show up matters more than what you’re saying, how you’re doing, or what you’ve done. If you don’t present yourself well, no one is going to care about anything that comes from your mouth or how much better than the next person you can get the job done. Show up your best self, every time. Everywhere.

That was never said to me, but it was translated through my mother’s actions. And that has led me to believe that vain girls are the best kind of special. They’re a lovely kind of woman. They’re a rare species. While the world wants them to remain endangered, I am doing my part to make sure they aren’t.

So, I dedicate this series to the girls who can’t stand to miss a nail appointment, never ‘throws’ something on, creates her entire schedule around her maintenance appointments, hunts down their estheticians, has a forty-step skincare routine, understands fashion, dresses according to their build, wardrobes are filled with flattering pieces, are always put together, study looks, can put together a killer fit with their eyes partially closed, smell as good as they look, and turn every head in the room when they walk in–unintentionally. Because we don’t do it for everyone else. We actually do it for ourselves.

When I became a woman (because it didn’t happen at 18 like the law would have you believe or at 21 when the bar is yours to have), there weren’t fireworks and applause. Neither were there bells and awards.

Actually, there was silence and a deep, profound feeling of self-awareness. The realization hit me like a violin just a few feet away, belting my favorite slow jams, so perfectly and so intentionally.

I was heavily moisturized, on my second layer of perfume, and sliding on the one thing I love more than perfume—jewelry.

The hairs on my arms and back and neck stood. My body tingled. My eyes pricked with salty, uncried tears that never fell. A smile stretched my lips across my face, and I choked.

I choked out a deep, resonating breath of disclosure. For I was no longer a kid. No longer wondering if I was truly a woman, inside and out. No longer waiting for the bills, children, home, or lifestyle to confirm my closeness to womanhood.

I was there.

Finally. It was silky skin, layers of my favorite fragrance, and accessories that told me so. Nothing big. Nothing over the top. Just moisturizer. Just perfume. Just accessories. And the freedom to wear as much as I wanted to, buy as much as I wanted to, have as much as I wanted to, and take as much time as I wanted to, to put them on my skin. In my home. In my bathroom. In my solitude.

So, it’s only right that I continue the summer sessions with one of those things that made me realize I’d become a woman. A woman that I am proud of.

Accessories aren’t the bread or the butter of summer. They’re both. They can make the simplest outfit unforgettable. They aren’t optional this summer. They’re required, and I have created a list of the ones you should invest in.

Images aren’t included, but they have been sourced from Pinterest. Here’s the board.

Scarves/Scarfs

So underrated, so necessary. Not every day will be a fabulous hair day. Not every outfit will pop. Not every wind will be quiet every day. For this, we need scarves. All colors. All patterns. All kinds. They’re truly the hidden treasures of summers.

Rings

My absolute favorite. You’ll often see me with one on each finger. Simpler days and the Cartier pieces are enough. However, there will never be a day that I won’t have rings on. If so, I’m likely unwell. Rings elevate your presence. Not only do they add flair, but they contribute so much to your aesthetic. They do so much heavy lifting and are so versatile. Not only can they turn a dull outfit into a moment, but they also carry the weight of unforgettable fits, giving them the push they need to be considered APPALLING.

Bracelets + Watches

I’d like to copy and paste the section above because bracelets/watches and rings are one and the same. They allude to richness. They tell those who encounter you… she cares… she knows… she’s tasteful… she’s aware… she’s iconic.

A good watch and bracelet combo are undefeated. It’s sickening. It’s timeless. It’s chic.

Necklaces

Whether dainty or blinding, there’s something to be said about necklaces in the summer. Gold against the sexy, dewy summer skin is just too good to pass on.

Stacks or a single, thin chain. They all work.

Anklets

Listen, don’t fear. Take it a step further. There’s something ultra-chic about the woman who wears an anklet. It’s not often you see them, but a double-take is almost always the result. A woman in an anklet lets me know a few things about her without even knowing her name.

She’s hot.

She’s cool.

She has a few rituals that not even her pastor can force her to break.

She has boundaries, whether soft or stern.

Earrings

Don’t leave the house without them. Just like rings, earrings can completely transform an ordinary outfit. Keep costume earrings for the moments you want to enhance your look. For the day-to-day, a pair of genuine diamond earrings will be just enough.

Belts (waist chains)

I was headed to a concert in a monochrome look. It was cute, especially with the shoes I’d chosen. However, I couldn’t help but feel like I was missing something.

The rings were on my fingers. The earrings were in my ears. The bracelets… everything was there. Still, something was missing. I searched my accessories, hoping something would stand out and grab my attention.

I didn’t have to wait long. A purse chain I planned to add to my LV wallet for a bit of flair fell underneath my nails. I snatched it up, along with a scarf.

Insta-love.

My look had managed to climb six levels. I don’t purchase belts for their intended use (keeping your pants up). I purchase them as accessories. If it can’t enhance my wardrobe, it doesn’t belong in it. Simple rules.

Sunglasses

Aside from protecting your eyes from the sun, sunnies are a good time. They are a vibe. They are a mood. They are stars in the show.

Pro-Tip: For the girls who wear glasses, get your prescription on transitional lenses and thank yourself later.

Seeing a woman in sunnies makes my heart smile. Cause… immediately yes, girlfriend.

Handbags

Oh honey, make sure your lineup is stacked. If nothing else, make sure there are three black bags (oversized, clutch, and a crossbody), a woven bag, a bucket bag, a beach bag, and an overnight bag in your closet.

And, if nothing else, make sure your concert and nightlife bags are TOP TIER. Learn from my mistakes.

I was in Houston, TX a few years ago. All the men had brought their significant others. It was a last-minute trip, so I tossed everything I thought I’d need in my suitcase. When it came down to the clutch for the night activities, I was lazy. I decided to remove the strap of my everyday bag and disguise it as an evening/night bag.

Needless to say, I regretted it the moment I stepped foot out of the car. Honestly, I regretted it before we left our hotel room. The ladies had not come to play, and I’d been playing since I decided not to bring the proper purse.

I wasn’t vain. Honey, I was pitiful and hated every second.

I called my mother the next day, and we had a good laugh about it, but I vowed to NEVER do that again. In fact, I’m still haunted by that decision today. It sparked my addiction to wallets, minis, and ‘concert’ bags.

While bags are a simple detail to others, they are personalities for me. I can tell you a few things about a woman by the bag she’s wearing sometimes.

Hair jewelry

The candle on the cake. Hair accessories include claws, beads, stones, clips, pins, and hoops. They are the extra step that is almost always necessary if the style allows it.

Yes. Yes. And, hell yes.

Toe rings

Just try it. I think they’re chic. Like anklets and hair jewelry and dainty necklaces. A woman with a collection of toe rings is a badass in my book.

She’s eccentric.

She’s divine.

She gets it.

She knows something.

Headbands

Revisit the scarf section for this one. They serve the same purposes and deserve space in your wardrobe.

Cellphone case

They matter. I promise. Ditch the old beat-up case and get you something chic, cute, or sexy. Your cell is an extension of you. You spend more time with it than anything else in your world, most likely. Make sure it reflects how you want to feel inside and out. Not to mention it’s an awesome conversation starter.

When I see a woman with a pretty phone case, she’s instantly a new friend of mine. It doesn’t matter if we never share two words.

Work bag/computer bag

I feel the same way about handbags as I do about a computer or work bag. Don’t choose this mindlessly. It needs to make a statement. It needs to say something. It needs to make you feel something. It needs to heal something you didn’t know was hurting. It needs to be BADASS.

Cause girl… Hell yeah.

Water bottle

Don’t settle for whatever the store has. Take the time to see what’s on the market (while not giving into consumerism). See which bottle matches your personality and aesthetic. Choose wisely and accessorize it if you’re into that kind of thing. Drinking water in style helps me get those ounces down easier.

A woman carrying a water bottle that matches her personality shouts chic. Because, not only is her health on her mind, but so is her presentation. A big plastic cup would’ve sufficed, but it didn’t fit the mold. The look. The vibe. The aesthetic. The fit. The woman.

Tote

Not every tote deserves your attention. There. I said it. Don’t pick it up because the internet has it. Find one that suits you. Suits your lifestyle. Serves its purpose. And make it your everything bag.

Hats

The ultimate head accessory. They save lives. Restores confidence. Gets you by until that hair appointment. I’m a sucker for a good hat, and my collection is extensive. I am a girl who dares to be undone. Hats are one of the secrets in a vain woman’s wardrobe. She might not wear them often because her hair is always laid, but the moment she needs them, they line her closet like buttery, long-sleeved tops in the winter months.

Ah. Another session down. A few more to go. Next time, we’re tackling the Summer Itinerary. Pen and paper needed. We’re talking wind-down bars, Sunday plans, brunch with the girls, and more.

If you enjoyed this, you’d love my snail mail club, The September Letter. Permission to pause shows up in your mailbox every month along with extra goodies that remind you of the slowness, softness, and stillness of September. The list is open now. Go ahead and start your letters.

But I beg to differ. Well, not quite beg. I don’t recall begging for anything in my life. It’s rather tasteless, frankly. So, let’s retrace. What I meant was… I disagree.

Snobby.

Conceited.

Selfish.

Haughty.

Unorthodox.

I’d accept those. But I’d also challenge what she’s being compared to or who she’s being compared to. Because history also says that women are meant to be servants caretakers of the home, the husband, the children, and the family structure.

Judging by the parameters history has placed around the idea of what or who a woman is, then the world would like you to believe vain women are useless, troublesome, and difficult. But, truthfully, she’s in tune with the one person she was supposed to forget while continuing to fuel the lifestyle, ego, image, structure, and fire of others.

She’s aware.

Self-aware.

She’s a wanderer.

She’s a wonder.

She’s rare.

And the idea of her existence makes the hairs on the back of necks stand. She rubs most the wrong way. Others want to be her or be next to her or be with her or strip her of the power she possesses.

It’s not her words or her accolades that precede her. Neither is it her position or status or financials. It’s not about where she’s been or what she’s done or what she’s seen. It’s about one thing— One very important thing to her. One that is prioritized day and night and evening and afternoon and wee hours.

It’s her beauty.

And while that might sound senseless, it makes perfect sense. To me.

Without ever saying the words to me, my mother demonstrated one thing that I carry with me like a shield of honor.

How you show up matters more than what you’re saying, how you’re doing, or what you’ve done. If you don’t present yourself well, no one is going to care about anything that comes from your mouth or how much better than the next person you can get the job done. Show up your best self, every time. Everywhere.

That was never said to me, but it was translated through my mother’s actions. And that has led me to believe that vain girls are the best kind of special. They’re a lovely kind of woman. They’re a rare species. While the world wants them to remain endangered, I am doing my part to make sure they aren’t.

So, I dedicate this series to the girls who can’t stand to miss a nail appointment, never ‘throws’ something on, creates her entire schedule around her maintenance appointments, hunts down their estheticians, has a forty-step skincare routine, understands fashion, dresses according to their build, wardrobes are filled with flattering pieces, are always put together, study looks, can put together a killer fit with their eyes partially closed, smell as good as they look, and turn every head in the room when they walk in–unintentionally. Because we don’t do it for everyone else. We actually do it for ourselves.

My best friend and I were talking a few weeks ago…

We discovered we were both on a mission to find the perfect ritual that leaves our skin looking like we just stepped out of a sauna—all day.

“My skin soaks everything right up. It doesn’t sit on top of my skin like I want it to,” she told me.

“Same. Same. My skin still looks thoroughly moisturized by midday, but that’s not enough for me. I need over the top.”

The truth is, I don’t want to look moisturized anymore. I want to look like I’ve been dipped in butter and honey and olive oil every forty-five minutes for the better half of my day.

I almost want to resemble a walking piece of chicken, fresh out of the grease. Because there’s something so damn chic and sexy about dewy, glowing skin that I just can’t quiet down about. It’s the main reason this post is separate from the article about the care of our skin (fully). I can get to the logistics later. I’m here for the aesthetics right now. Vol 2 has no place for nonsense. It’s about the luminescence and luxe that your ordinary lotion can’t provide.

Needless to say, my quest began that day… When I realized my best friend and I were secretly searching for the same glow.

And I’m ashamed to admit that I haven’t shared this with her yet. I am sharing it with you first.

If you’re reading this, babe, I love you more than them. It’s just that I’m falling headfirst for the summer sessions and want to tell them things I’ve never told anyone else. Here’s the secret. It’s all here. Just promise you won’t call off our wedding in year 20493232. We can work through this.

Warning: this entry is incredibly short, but it is worth reading every word. Get your pen and paper so you can write down the formula to sexy summer skin.

Step One: Water Source

A shower.

A bath.

A spray bottle.

It doesn’t matter (but hopefully it’s a shower or bath). Your skin needs hydration before we begin to seal. Drench your skin in clean (filtered if possible) water and try your best to avoid soaps that dry you completely out on this day (ex., the gold bar from Dial).

Step Two: Exfoliate

While in the shower, use a direct exfoliant or an exfoliating glove to remove dead, unwanted skin and smooth your foundation.

Step Three: Pat, not fully dry.

Don’t slide the towel across your skin, catching every drop of moisture. That hydration will help enhance your final result. Give your skin a light pat all over and ditch the towel. If you can air ‘dry’ then that would be even better. Before the water evaporates completely, begin step four.

Step Four: Sunscreen.

Simple. Clear. Spray on. Future you will thank you for not forgetting this step. And to be honest, this adds a brilliant shine to the skin that lasts all day. Don’t forget your sunscreen. It’s very important during the summer months. The sun is brutal.

Step Five (The Magic): Eucerin Advanced Repair Lotion

A freaking game changer. This lotion is ALWAYS around my house. I leave it for the babies with the unbearable allergies and complex skin conditions. My babies. However, it was the closest thing to me one day after we’d had that conversation. I added it to my ritual and my life was never the same. I must add that my skin has never felt or looked better. I mean, repairing while meeting my skin goals is actually skin goals, you know. Another level!

This thick, creamy lotion hydrates, moisturizes, repairs, and alleviates the need to reapply for up to forty-eight hours. Believe me when I say that you will feel it on you all day long.

(A thin layer of sunscreen can enter the chat here, too. Your preference. Step four or five… The choice is yours.)

Step Six: Palmer’s Body Oil

Not only does it smell good, but a little goes a long way. This step is the icing on the cake. This gives you a layer between your finest and your repair lotion. This helps keep everything nice and separated. It is not a necessary step, but it is a necessary step. The girls who get it will know exactly what I mean.

Step Seven: Your favorite fragrance oil

This step—the sprinkles and the candles and the fire. Layer your favorite oil on top. Something fragrant. Something that smells incredible. NOT perfume. Save that for your clothes. Most perfumes contain alcohol, which can reverse the effects of everything I’ve just listed. Alcohol will dry you out. Save it for your fabrics. It last longer on them anyway. Find a good body oil (preferably one from Huffington Fragrance House) and use it as your top coat.

The only optional step:

For the ultimate glow, add shimmer. Golden will always win for me. Huffington Fragrance House offers Stardust parfum oils that will give you a subtle glimmer that shines brighter in the night.

Warning: If you don’t want all eyes on you when you walk into the room, do not follow these steps. And PLEASE DO NOT add the optional step. You won’t know what to do with yourself.

Alright girls, that’s it for Summer Sessions today. Report back once you’ve tried it. Let me know how good your skin looked.

If you haven’t figured it out by now, I’m a writer. While I’m in between projects, I imagine there’s no better way to fill my days with words than to begin the Summer Sessions. I’m actually quite thrilled, because not only am I keeping my promise, but I am doing my part as a member of the Vain Girl’s Club, the one most want to be a part of but haven’t found their way to orientation. Consider this your introduction.

summer session 01: the guide to an ultra chic + super vain summer

Most times when the word vain enters the chat, noses turn and eyes roll and egos are bruised and teeth grind and deep inhales swallow up nearly all the available oxygen around us. Because vain girls, historically, have been deemed useless girls. Troubled girls. Difficult girls. Even dumb girls.

But I beg to differ. Well, not quite beg. I don’t recall begging for anything in my life. It’s rather tasteless, frankly. So, let’s retrace. What I meant was… I disagree.

Snobby.

Conceited.

Selfish.

Haughty.

Unorthodox.

I’d accept those. But I’d also challenge what she’s being compared to or who she’s being compared to. Because history also says that women are meant to be servants caretakers of the home, the husband, the children, and the family structure.

Judging by the parameters history has placed around the idea of what or who a woman is, then the world would like you to believe vain women are useless, troublesome, and difficult. But, truthfully, she’s in tune with the one person she was supposed to forget while continuing to fuel the lifestyle, ego, image, structure, and fire of others.

She’s aware.

Self-aware.

She’s a wanderer.

She’s a wonder.

She’s rare.

And the idea of her existence makes the hairs on the back of necks stand. She rubs most the wrong way. Others want to be her or be next to her or be with her or strip her of the power she possesses.

It’s not her words or her accolades that precede her. Neither is it her position or status or financials. It’s not about where she’s been or what she’s done or what she’s seen. It’s about one thing— One very important thing to her. One that is prioritized day and night and evening and afternoon and wee hours.

It’s her beauty.

And while that might sound senseless, it makes perfect sense. To me.

Without ever saying the words to me, my mother demonstrated one thing that I carry with me like a shield of honor.

How you show up matters more than what you’re saying, how you’re doing, or what you’ve done. If you don’t present yourself well, no one is going to care about anything that comes from your mouth or how much better than the next person you can get the job done. Show up your best self, every time. Everywhere.

That was never said to me, but it was translated through my mother’s actions. And that has led me to believe that vain girls are the best kind of special. They’re a lovely kind of woman. They’re a rare species. While the world wants them to remain endangered, I am doing my part to make sure they aren’t.

So, I dedicate this series to the girls who can’t stand to miss a nail appointment, never ‘throws’ something on, creates her entire schedule around her maintenance appointments, hunts down their estheticians, has a forty-step skincare routine, understands fashion, dresses according to their build, wardrobes are filled with flattering pieces, are always put together, study looks, can put together a killer fit with their eyes partially closed, smell as good as they look, and turn every head in the room when they walk in–unintentionally. Because we don’t do it for everyone else. We actually do it for ourselves.

Now, my goal is to make these sessions as swift as I can, but that’s asking a lot of myself. As stated, I’m a writer, and I am windy. Wish me luck.

Summer Session 01: The Secrets to Sexy Summer Hair

While a mindset shift is the first step to an ultra-chic and super vain summer, I assume you have your head in the game already. That’s why you’re here, so we don’t need to talk about how important it is to shift your thoughts and break free of everything they’ve taught you about the female’s presence. If so, please drop a comment, and I will circle back after this article is in the atmosphere.

Now…

Understand that the vanity of a woman is the main character of this story. This means she’s hardly undone. Externally, she has it together. Starting with her hair.

The Secrets to Sexy Summer Hair

1. Avoid ponytails: Your perimeter is praying you don’t put your hair in too many ponytails this summer. As quick and easy as the style is, it’s eating away at parts of your hair that frame your pretty face. Too many ponytails make blunt cuts, trims, and natural styles difficult because you’ll find yourself trying to fill in gaps the tension from ponytails has created.

2. Bonnets don’t barge out of the door: I honestly don’t care who has told you differently. A bonnet is equivalent to a nightgown in my eyes. Those pieces are reserved for your home. When you step outside, your bonnet isn’t permitted to do the same. You’re not partners; you’re acquaintances. They serve a purpose (protect your hair during sleep, showers, and downtime). Once that purpose has been served, you part ways.

3. Invest in scarves: Multipurpose. The versatility of a scarf will leave you stunned. Scarves can be used to protect your hair (just as bonnets do), while also being a fashion piece. The same scarf you wore to bed to keep your wrap in place can be tied around your head stylishly to protect your hair while on a catamaran trip to the open waters. Or to the concert to be sure your leave-out doesn’t show once it’s sweated out. Or to the rodeo. Or with sunglasses to enhance any fit you’re wearing for the evening. Or to work when you ran out of time to finish your hair.

4. Steam/hydration treatments: Summer is a tricky time for our hair. Make sure it’s hydrated. Every time you shampoo your hair this summer, take a few minutes to hydrate it with a steam treatment or repair it with a mask that is packed with moisture and nourishment.

5. Straightening system: Don’t fill your lungs with flat iron smoke. Instead, invest in a straightening system that will keep your hair silky for six weeks without damaging your curl pattern in the process. Not only will this save you time, but it’ll save your hair, too, keeping it sexy for summer, fall, winter, and spring.

6. Low manipulation styles: Twist outs, braid outs, wash and go, flat twists, chunky twists, finger coils, and the list goes on. Let your hair breathe. Summer is so forgiving when it comes to low manipulation hairstyles. The older it gets in the summer, the bigger and better it becomes. This keeps your scalp free of tension and tenderness. And, not to mention, you can run your hands freely through your hair.

7. Avoid lace (if you can): Think–tan lines, scorching heat, lifting, sticky glue, sun beaming on your closure, dewy makeup… you’re thirty minutes from home and not quite ready to end your day. Bummer.

8. Half wigs: Think–quick, easy, believable, low maintenance, no glue, no closure, easy blend, and protective. The girls are LOVING the simplicity of half wigs. Within ten minutes, you can have yourself a presentable (and super cute) style that will survive the brunch, dinner, drinks, dip in the pool, and dancing all night.

9. 1-2 trims: Don’t forget them. Summer is fun, but dead ends can ruin any good style. Be sure to have your ends clipped at least once during the summer. Keep your curls fresh and your styles clean with freshly snipped ends. Remember, length is NOT seeing strength on any level when it comes to your hair. Cut it off. It’ll grow back healthier and stronger.

10. Keep the braids (with extensions) to a minimum: Sorry to bring you bad news, but braids are not always a good decision. Braids damage our hair far more than many care to admit. Braids split your ends so far up your shaft that a hair medic is needed to save what they leave behind. I’m not saying you shouldn’t get braids, because I understand. However, keep them to a minimum and don’t keep them in for long. Between tension, synthetic fibers, heaviness, poor maintenance, and lengthy wear, braids can transform from a protective style to one you’ll need years to recover from. So once the vacay ends, snip and unravel.

11. Stock up on your go-to products: Cecred drops, curl mousse, detangling spray, heat protectant, leave-in conditioner, shower caps, hair masks, detangling brushes, hair ties (soft and harmless), and more. Reserve a portion of your budget at the beginning of or mid-summer and stock up on all your hair necessities. This cuts down on hair fatigue and keeps you from worrying if you have what you need before starting a style.

12. Invest in hair perfume: Game changers. I’ve stopped using my perfume to spritz my hair. It was a habit that kept my hair from smelling like the products I used to obtain my desired style. Lately, I’ve been making my own hair fragrances to couple with fragrances I love or have designed for my fragrance line –Huffington Fragrance House. Once you’ve fallen in love with a hair perfume, spray your sheets, pillows, bonnets, scarves, and wigs. Thank me later.

13. Create a simple hair calendar: Whether you get your hair styled professionally or do it at home, this will cut down on the stress your hair can cause. It also helps you plan better (for trips, events, etc) around your lifestyle. Ex. Dates should include hair appointments or days you’ll do your own hair. They should include take-downs, deep conditions, when to order hair, what colors you’ll be wearing, what events you’ll be attending, vacation plans, date-night styles, and weeks your hair can rest.

14. Create a lookbook: This will partner with your calendar to make your life easier. Whether from Google or Pinterest, create a lookbook for your hair. Find styles you love and match them with the dates you’ve marked on your calendar to tend to your hair. Having inspo helps. It limits hair fatigue.

15. Decide on your go-to: Everyone has one. Mine… Natural. Blunt. Dark brown/black. Middle part. Find yours. Go through your pictures over the last five years. Your go-to style will be worn more than any style in that timeframe. It fuels your confidence. It feels good no matter the day, time, month, or year. It fits almost any (or probably any) occasion. You’re invincible the moment you meet again.

16. Invest in a good straightener: Not the cheap kind. Not the popular kind. Not the kind you caught on sale. The good kind. The one that’s less damaging and truly helps train your hair to heat. Ceramic if your hair is fine. Titanium if your hair is thick or coarse. Do not skip the heat protectant. You’ll regret it later.

17. Get familiar with your local beauty supply store: My mother added this tip to this session. She says that beauty supply stores should be studied. They have baskets just like Walmart and Target and other stores many frequent. Carve out time to visit the store and browse each aisle so you know what you’re being offered to take care of your crown. She insists on women being their gentlest selves in the beauty supply store. Be curious. Ask questions. Explore. Walk around. Be unrushed. Unhurried. Unbothered. This time should be held near to your heart, just like grocery shopping and vacation shopping.

18. Learn your hair type and what works best for it: You won’t know what your hair needs until you discover who it is, what it likes, and what makes it do weird things. Don’t be afraid to try new products, techniques, or find people who have hair that’s similar to yours. YouTube used to be our go-to for learning about our hair. I’m not sure where the socials went wrong, but I pray it still reigns supreme in that area. I pray it’s not forgotten. Because videos were long and informative. So many people understood their hair better, and so many people avoided mistakes that others had made with their hair.

19. Dry shampoo: Girl. That’s it. That’s all. Get the dry shampoo. Save yourself a little more time. Shampoo it later.

20. Flexi rod your curls at night: Keep the heat to a minimum. Roll or rod your hair at night to refresh your curls by morning. This also helps cut down on prep time. It’s a lifesaver for the girls who aren’t great at curling their hair.

21. Pin curl your curls before they cool down: For sexy, bouncy curls that will last for hours, don’t let them fall. Roll it up, pin it down, and spray it with some holding spray before moving on to the next curl. Once you release them–chef’s kiss!

22. Use bobby pins with padding beneath: The last thing you want is wrinkles or lines in your hair. To prevent your bobby pins from leaving their marks, be sure to buy the pins with padding or use a paper towel. This keeps your curls or your wrap seamless without indentations.

23. Hair accessories: Get them. The claws. The gold clips. The hair broaches. The jewels. The stones. The headpieces. Get it. I promise you won’t regret any of it. They scream luxury and timelessness and poise and audacity and confidence and femininity. Oh goodness, they are my favorite kind of sexy.

24. Stash a care bag: The summer can be brutal on our hair. Just like you have a hygiene bag and a period pouch with pads, tampons, deodorant, body mist, and single-use wash cloths inside… Create one for your hair needs. There’s a lot of hair in my house. A bag in each car is necessary because we never know when we might have a hair mishap. Hair ties, hair clips, bobby pins, leave-in, detangler, combs, brushes, bows, and the list goes on. Stay ready, honey.

25. Make hair goals: Pretty hair doesn’t mean good hair. Protected hair doesn’t mean good hair. Always have goals for your natural hair. Always strive to reach those goals. And don’t be afraid to start from square one to achieve those goals. I want the front of my hair to catch up to the back by winter. I want healthier edges by spring. I want fuller hair by next year. Don’t let your dreams end with your hair. It’s where they should begin.

26. Undone isn’t an option: Understand that you should never step foot outside of your house with your hair undone unless you’re headed to get it done. Even then, it should be presentable. Hats, scarves, twists…

Well, I tried, but my fingers and my thoughts just kept at it. I could go on, but I’ll stop here. Hopefully I’ve mentioned something in this article that will help you get sexier hair this summer.

I’ll be back soon. Very soon. And we’ll be talking dewy, sexy summer skin… an unforgettable glow that will have you looking like you’ve been personally kissed by the sun and the sea.

If you’re into this kind of thing, you’ll love my monthly snail mail club – The September Letter.

We gathered as expected. All in the same building. Different seats. Different outfits. Different dates. I was eager to meet the people my friends had chosen to share the night with us. But by the end of the night, I was saddened by the disconnection between my core group and the new arrival (date).

Her energy is unwelcome.

That was the summary of my thoughts that night, but it’s deeper. It always is. On the surface were big, pretty brown eyes, a flawless smile, carefully applied makeup, and that good, soft skin. Internally, a war was raging.

And I couldn’t help but wonder–

Who hurt her?

I’m not referring to men. If she lined up her entire backlog, I’m almost certain they’ve all had a hand in hardening her core. But that’s with them. It’s hardly that way with us.

Girls.

We’re safe spaces. We’re confidants. We’re magicians. We’re girls. We’re allies.

So, the question lingered all night as she avoided conversation, chose not to laugh even when everyone was doubled over with sore jaws, and sighed every few seconds. Because it wasn’t her reality that I was most interested in. It was the reality of all the girls like her.

The ones who are uncomfortable around women. The ones who are intimidated by other women. The ones who immediately activate their guard when another woman crosses their line of vision. The ones who don’t trust other women. The ones who don’t love other women. The ones who maintain a distance from women. The ones who view women as threats… not allies.

It’s disheartening. And it leaves me to wonder how many women have experienced the underside of womanhood. The side that hardens their core and shifts their gears the moment new women are in proximity.

Curiosity led me to write the words of this article. Because that mug on her face and those ignored questions and that silence didn’t affect the incredible time I had with friends. It affected the wholeness of my womanhood.

It magnified the ugly truth. It dirtied my lens. It ripped away my bandage. And it made me face the fact that there is another side of womanhood where there’s no whimsy, no allegiance, no community, no kindness, no love, no softness, no smiles, and no connection.

And as a result of experiencing that part of womanhood, one is left scarred. Damaged. Hardened. Unhappy. Traumatized. Forced to protect their heart, peace, and sanity by avoiding eye contact, switching into defense mode, twisting the features of their pretty faces, and disapproving of any connection proposed –temporary or not.

Frankly, that must be exhausting. Carrying the weight of the pain that was never supposed to be yours. Dealing with the pressure of liberation in a room full of faces that resemble the ones who have caused you turmoil. Wanting to be a part of something that you know can be glorious, but your heart won’t allow you. Being reminded of what that hurt felt like each time you hear a woman laugh or speak.

So to the women who are feeling the strife of the underside…

I apologize, girl. Though I am not the one who hurt you, I’d love to be part of the committee that heals you.

I apologize for the discomfort they forced onto you. I apologize for the nasty words they said to your face and behind your back. I apologize for the gossiping. I apologize for the physical altercation. I apologize for the betrayal. I apologize for the lies. I apologize for the sneakiness. I apologize for the hardships they caused. I apologize for the secrets of yours they told. I apologize for the joy they stole.

This is your journey, and I can’t tell you how to steer the wheel. But I would be lying if I said I don’t wish you could experience the other side of womanhood where there’s growth, maturity, a village, loyalty, consideration, respect, evolution, laughter, genuineness, whimsy, softness, joy, and sisterhood.

We can’t wait to greet you. It’s incredible over here. Come when you’re ready. Come healed and come whole if you can.

If you loved this post, you’ll love my snail mail club, The September Letter. Every month I send a letter to women all around the world. Every piece of mail includes a letter and a poem.

Becoming the host of my friend group is the best unintentional mistake I’ve ever made.

I’d be lying if I said I was upset about it. Overwhelmed by it. Or figure it’s not all that necessary because it is.

I looked around the table full of those closest to me while hosting the first dinner party this year, and smiled.

I thought…

She was there for me when I needed a listening ear.

He was there for me when I needed a laugh.

She picks up every time I call.

She keeps me sane.

She’s always around when I need her.

She keeps my soul gentle and my softness alive.

Everyone around the table had been a vital part of my journey to becoming the woman I am today. And, honestly, I don’t ever want to glaze over their contributions to my mental, emotional, physical, and financial well-being.

Their contributions are the real reason I began the hosting era of my life.

It’s my way of saying so many things that don’t fall from my lips often but are in my heart, head, and the tip of my tongue.

I love you.

Thank you.

You’re important to me.

You matter.

I need you.

I’m elated you’re in my life.

You’re a true friend.

I appreciate you.

Every tini detail I pour into dinner parties, social gatherings, or craft nights is considered with love and light and purity. It’s a sure way to let my friends know — I am not above catering to your needs, as you have catered to mine at some point in this friendship.

Serving those I love brings me joy. And that’s what has led me to begin the first series on Girl Work. Because hosting is just that. It’s Girl Work.

During the hosting era, we will cover the following:

1. Host Something: The Petition (below)

2. The Tini Details (invitations, crafts, decorations, locations, drink menu, themes, etc)

3. Super Secret Hosting Hacks (cooking, ordering, pre-planning, guest requirements)

4. The Ultra-Chic Guide to Tablescapes (setting the table, glassware, table decor, etc)

5. The Dreamiest Hosting Capsule (building your hosting capsule)

Grab your pen + paper. Prepare to take notes, because this series will leave you with a lot to look forward to. Now, let’s dive into the first topic, Host Something.

Host Something:

As someone who loathes going outside unnecessarily, yet still cringes at the idea of others being in my personal space, hosting sounded more like nails on a chalkboard than unfiltered laughter and utter contentment.

But that all changed over a year ago when the desire to gather my friends around the table to cut out images to piece on a board that would serve as a reminder of our goals and the promises we made to ourselves outweighed all else.

The urge was overwhelming. The vision must have replayed in my head sixty-four times. Every detail. Every question. Every utensil. Every dish. Every crafting supply. Everything.

I thought of every reason not to shoot for the stars, but it was unlike me. Settling or going against my intuition has never served me.

So, I decided to toss caution to the wind. I created an invitation and sent it to all of my friends in the same city. Given that there aren’t many of them.

Still, their RSVPs poured in. It was the first piece of confirmation that girl work was beginning. On the night of, there was a single cancellation. It happened to be the second piece of confirmation that girl work was necessary.

By the night’s end, emotionally-charged responses to questions posed on the detailed printout I’d designed, beautiful vision boards, declarations, and sweet promises of betterment were the final pieces of confirmation that girl work had prevailed.

They were petitions…

To wonder again.

To plan again.

To create an invitation again.

To send out a mass text again.

To prep again.

To bring everyone together again.

To give written permission to pause again.

To welcome smiles again.

To bring joy again.

To do something good again.

To host again.

That was a year ago. I’ve gathered my friends and family around the table again and again and again since then. Admittedly, it’s the most fulfilling task I’ve completed on this side of adulthood, aside from birthing children.

So, this is my petition for you to host something. Big or small. And, here’s why.

They need it.

Showing up is not easy. Not even for yourself sometimes, and especially not for others. When someone shows up at my door to attend anything I’m hosting, I am certain of at least one thing.

They need it.

More than me sometimes. More than others sometimes. And, I can’t say how much it means to provide whatever they need that day or evening or night. A hug. Laughter. A smile. A joke. Food. A picture. Community.

Something. As a friend, providing that safe space is essential.

It doesn’t have to be perfect.

For my first hosting, I thought… Gosh, there will be more people here than I have chairs. They’ll need room. They’ll need space to work. And, what will we eat? If I cook, the kitchen will need to be cleaned before they arrive.

The list went on for hours. Quite literally. But, in the end, I said to myself, “It doesn’t have to be perfect. It just has to be.”

And, it’s true. You don’t have to have the perfect setup, the perfect amount of space, the perfect table, the perfect menu, or the perfect entertainment pieces. All you need is the will to gather with good intentions. Everything else will fall into place.

Do not let the pursuit of perfection ruin a good thing. Host it. Perfect it later.

Outside costs so much.

Let’s be honest. I am down at least $500 by stepping out of my house and participating in the world. While the funds are there, who wants to spend them all the time?

And for some, it’s a stretch. Bills are eating holes through their checks before they touch their accounts. Children are expensive. Maintenance is outrageous. Therapy is more than the light bill. And, food prices are constantly rising.

Hosting is an all-inclusive experience for guests. Drinks. Laughter. Food. Fun. Good conversation. A little therapy. Sweets. Games. And the latest tea.

Almost everything is reusable.

This is one of the things I love most about hosting. Almost everything is reusable. You’ll begin building your hosting capsule one event at a time. And, with each hosting, you’ll purchase less because you won’t need as much. Everything in your cabinets will be used again.

Glassware.

Table linen.

Dinner napkins.

Silverware.

Liquor (the leftovers).

Food (for at least two days).

It’s all reusable. Quite frankly, you might not need to purchase anything at all, because everything in your cabinet right now is usable. This takes me back to my second point. It doesn’t have to be perfect. It just has to be.

Making memories.

Ahhhhh. As a memory keeper, someone who quite literally walks around with a camera at any event, this is music to my ears.

Hosting your friends makes for the most fond, loveliest memories a girl could hope for. The reduction of chaos, loud music, yelling, screaming, conflict with intoxicated individuals, sweaty bodies, and over-the-top security personnel makes for a damn good night.

Make sure there’s a theme. Have everyone dressed to match it. And, snap away.

Recall moments in your friendship you’ll never forget.

Have another laugh about that one thing that’ll never not be funny.

Remind them of the time you almost lost your lives together.

Don’t let them forget about the crazy guy.

Bring up that time on vacation.

Smile until your jaws hurt. Laugh until your throat hurts. Talk until your vocal cords are hoarse. That’s what the hosting era is for.

It’s your own little social club.

Honestly, I won’t be elaborating because hell yeah.

A few minutes of attention from a friend could save a friend’s life.

Eight minutes. Eight minutes of attention from someone you love and trust can save your life. When I learned this, I think it broke my heart and healed me at the same time. I was listening to a podcast, and a guy mentioned the rule that had been established in their friend group. He said that when a friend is feeling low or at the point of no return, they call and they must ask…

Do you have 8 minutes?

It’s their secret cry for help without ever having to express the words. And, for eight minutes or more, the caller has their friend’s undivided attention.

That’s a phone call. Imagine what eight minutes of joy must do for the human brain! Hostings go on for hours. That’s enough dopamine to carry on for weeks.

Friends matter. So do their lives.

Host something.

That’s it for today. Let’s get into the tini details next, ladies. See you soon.

muah,

girl work