bring back the vanity

the world is moving too fast. women need a seat.

I sat on my bed with my computer underneath my palms, pushing out word after word after word as my bedroom door opened and closed hour after hour. It was the people of my home checking in on me, asking for assistance, or fulfilling their need to lay eyes on me.

While everyone wanted or needed something different at different points of the day, there was one thing they all had in common.

They stopped at my vintage vanity.

After my day drew to a close and long after the computer was put away, I noted something that has stuck with me since.

Vanities are a lost art that shouldn’t have been pulled from the wall for all to see, duplicate, or indulge. The vanity is a vital ingredient for the feminine experience. They are necessary for the development of our feminine core. They should be a prerequisite for womanhood. No girl should be without one.

Vanities are NECESSARY staples in a household driven by feminine energy (or even blessed with the slightest bit of feminine presence), and goddamnit, we need them back.

Why?

Well, because—

They give silent permission to pause.

There isn’t a person who walks past my vanity that doesn’t stop and take a good look at themselves, often discovering something new about themselves.

• a new beauty mark

• a new pimple

• a new strand of gray hair

• a pending breakout

• a bit more weight

• a bit less weight

• the need for a manicure

• a new fragrance

• dry skin

• healthier skin

• something in their teeth

• how pretty an outfit is

• something—

It’s an information pool that changes every day. Because curiosity is part of human nature, we can’t help it when our body halts to see if something new is waiting in the mirror.

There’s something poetic about discovering a new version of yourself daily. It assures us that we can never be too sure about who we are because we’re always changing—inwardly and outwardly.

The world is moving too fast.

Yet, everything slows to a creep at the vanity. The rat race ends. The slowness takes precedence. And, not much else matters in the world at that moment. Everything disappears. Everything blurs. Everything goes silent.

And, it’s only you, facing that mirror and doing things to your body that makes you feel better about the day, yourself, your life, and your body.

There hasn’t been a time I’ve stood up the same person I sat down as. I’m always better in some way.

Women need a seat.

Because the world wants us on our feet a little too frequently. I wholeheartedly feel like women carry the world ON THEIR BACKS.

• We head homes.

• We populate the world.

• We raise the children.

• We care for the men.

• We build corporations.

• We support those around us.

• We take care of ourselves.

• We fight for change.

• We invent.

• We invest.

• We create.

• We keep shit together.

Our legs are as tired as our heads and our hearts. Sometimes, we need a seat. And, we need to tune it all out so we can focus on what matters most. Us.

A vanity will whisper to a woman, every chance it gets, “Come here. Sit down. Do something for yourself right now. Focus on you… even if only for a second.”

They’re small hubs that impact our personality.

Vanities remind you that you are indeed THAT girl. The best version of the woman you think you are, it tells us we’re exactly her. They’re our silent cheerleaders. Our biggest supporters. And, will ultimately become our best friends.

I love my vanity as if it were human, because it’s done much more for me than others.

It’s a constant reminder that I am a work in progress, and the boost of confidence that lies between those progress checks in the mirror is enough for me to keep going long after I meet my next marker.

They help us learn more about who we are.

The vanity is a discovery pool. It keeps us knowledgeable about who we are, what we love, and what makes our hearts smile. At the vanity is where I’ve learned a great deal of the things I know about myself as a woman.

• I prefer woodsy vanillas over fruity scents. In fact, I hate fruity scents.

• Contouring is my favorite step of makeup.

• I’m not a fan of false eyelashes. I’m a mascara girl.

• My natural hair is a huge part of my personality.

• My jewelry and perfume collections are my ultimate flex.

• I’m not myself if I don’t complete all five steps of my skincare routine.

• I like silk gowns more than t-shirts and panties at night.

• My beauty marks are darkening with time.

• I need a facial every quarter.

• My skin is driest from September until March.

• My lashes clump after the third layer of mascara.

• My ring stacks are perfect when the thumb is involved.

• I can be ready in thirty-eight minutes.

• Body powder is superior.

How’d I learn these things? By accepting the daily invitation to sit at my vanity and find out what’s happening with me.

They are little love letters to ourselves.

Telling us that we can be better. Feel better. Look better. Love (ourselves) better. I feel as though I’m writing to myself, to the future me, each time I sit at my vanity. Often, I just want her to know that:

• I see her.

• I’m striving to be her.

• She’s beautiful.

• Our time together is coming.

• I’m putting forth the effort and energy each day to become her.

• I’m a step closer to her.

That person stares at me through the mirror with pride beaming through her orbs, letting me know:

• She sees me, too.

• She’s rooting for me.

• I don’t have much longer before I am her.

• She is witnessing my progress.

• She loves the work I’m doing with myself.

They make the children inside of us happy.

Seriously, who didn’t dream of their own vanity as a little girl?

• A place where all your things could call home.

• A place where you could do the most horrible makeup and not feel anything but pride.

• A place where you could talk to yourself.

• A place where you could sing to yourself.

• A place where only your standards mattered.

• A place where you didn’t have to please anyone but yourself.

• A place where you could mimic the women you see each day.

• A place where you discovered your personal style.

• A place where all of the things your mother didn’t want anymore came to make themselves at home (brushes, makeup, lipsticks, etc).

That doesn’t change when you get older. Only you aren’t dreaming anymore. It becomes your reality, and you get to choose the details carefully and thoughtfully.

They’re odes to femininity.

This one. This is the one. With the world beating us down and life trying to keep us in fight or flight mode, femininity is being pushed to the back of our brains.

Having a safe place where all things girl go does something for your mental and emotional health.

Perfume —it’s all there.

Makeup —it’s all there.

Skincare —it’s all there.

Jewelry —it’s all there.

Hygiene —most of it is there.

Hair things —it’s all there.

Trinkets —they’re all there.

The beauty of giving your things a shared space is rewarding in inexplicable ways. It keeps you in your seat so that you’re not running around, stressing, and trying to make sense of things. Women do that enough already.

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If ever asked to pick a place where I think all women would feel safer, softer, and better… I’ll always choose the vanity.

So, bring them back.

I know some women have them, but not enough of us do. When I say bring back vanities, I don’t mean for a handful of us. I mean for all of us, starting with the youth. Five, six, and seven-year-olds need their prerequisite, too.