to the girls ready to be sickeningly feminine - a rulebook #3

S2E3: because we're all searching for that side of us.

I’ve been yearning to feel the keys of my laptop under my fingertips for the last two weeks. And, I’ve been suffering from the sheer desperation to start and conclude the third installment of the rulebook.

Because time isn’t on my side, we’re only expanding on three rules this week. However, these rules happen to be some of the most important and favored of mine.

But, before I begin, it’s been sitting on my heart to elaborate on the woman I’m outlining in this rulebook.

There are huge differences between a girly woman, a woman pretending, and an ultra-feminine woman. And the differences are striking.

A girly woman may wear pretty clothes, speak well, have a thirty-step skincare or shower routine, love feminine things, have feminine ways, add value to spaces, and maintain her appearance. However, the similarities to the ultra-feminine woman typically end there.

Femininity is not an accessory. It is a mindset. It’s a way of life. It’s a language.

A woman pretending might present all the characteristics of a feminine woman to obtain things she wants/needs, but the facade fades with time. It doesn’t matter how long it takes for the truth to reveal itself, but it always will. Her family knows. Her exes know. Her past knows. And, no matter how much makeup she smears on her pretty face, her insides are still tarnished.

Not all of the rules will apply to the girly woman or the woman pretending, but they will always apply to the sickeningly feminine woman to some degree.

Now…

To the rulebook.

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Ferociously curious.

Remaining curious keeps the feminine woman on the tips of her toes and the top of her game. She’s never too knowledgeable to learn more. She’s never too confident to seek more information. She’s never too prideful to ask questions about things she isn’t familiar with. She’s never afraid to warrant the unknown.

Because a feminine woman understands that knowledge is power.

She also knows that vulnerability breeds change. And to be curious is to be vulnerable.

A feminine woman is intentional with her studies. She retains information by writing it down. Carrying around a pen and paper isn’t for jotting her number down. It’s for making notes of things and people and places, and pieces of information she doesn’t want to forget even after the encounter has ended.

A feminine woman craves substance in all she’s involved with. She seek those who are more knowledgeable because she never wants to be the one to know it all. If so, she understands she is in the wrong place and with the wrong people.

The ultra-feminine woman studies words, people, places, hobbies, tools, beauty, occupations, history, and the list goes on forever.

Curiosity doesn’t kill this cat. It nurtures it. It fosters a sense of pride. It contributes to the uniqueness and exuberance of a feminine woman. It keeps her wide-eyed and wondrous. It tugs at her doubts and eventually transforms them into tiny pieces of knowledge that enhance her confidence. It is her liberation, freeing her from the pits of the unknown. It leaves a sweet taste on the tongues of everyone around her.

Doesn’t over-explain.

“What I meant was…”

“Oh, I was just…”

“Because, you know…”

“I say that because…”

“I made that choice because…”

A feminine woman is not one to try to convince others of why she did what she did or said what she said. Neither is she one to convince them it was the right choice to make or thing to say.

She’s cemented in her self-awareness. She’s rooted in her beliefs. She’s a sure thing.

And because she’s slow to speak and quick to observe, her accuracy is almost one hundred percent.

A feminine woman says nothing at all if she doesn’t know what to say. A feminine woman does nothing at all if she doesn’t know what to do.

Slowness is her saving grace. So, no, she’s not explaining anything to anyone because her reactions or actions are hardly spontaneous. They’re calculated. Just like her.

She owes no explanation. She understands it and moves accordingly.

Aren’t sorry for existing or taking up space.

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

“My bad.”

“Let me move out of your way. Sorry.”

These are things you’ll hardly hear from a feminine woman. Just like she’s not one to over-explain, she’s not one to apologize for what she is not responsible for, like…

Existing.

It was beyond her control, and just like she has, others must accept it too… along with everything that accompanies it.

Her presence in a grocery aisle.

Her extensive search for the right nail color, though there are others waiting.

Her time in the bathroom.

Her curiosity.

Her beauty.

Her likeness.

Her confidence.

Her.

You’ll hear a feminine woman say ‘excuse me’ far more than ‘I’m sorry,’ because she’s not. And she doesn’t have much to be sorry about. Mainly because she’s a good girl, inside and out. She doesn’t pretend. This is truly who she is.

Kindness is her tour guide. Curiosity is her fuel. Quietness is her seatbelt. Observation is her windshield. Discernment is her wipers. Consideration has the steering wheel.

She’s careful of what she says. She’s careful of what she does. She’s not sorry. Not for existing.

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Gosh, I could go on forever. But for the sake of discipline, I’ll stop here. This series is just getting started. Buckle up. Next are the physical elements and accessories of the ultra-feminine woman.