summer sessions: so fucking vain + so damn chic - a guide
Summer Session 01: The Secrets to Sexy Summer Hair
A few weeks ago, I promised I’d have the most vain summer of my existence. I also promised to take you along. If I have nothing else in this world, I have my words. And, if I haven’t learned anything else in this world, I’ve learned that my words can take me places nothing else can.
If you haven’t figured it out by now, I’m a writer. While I’m in between projects, I imagine there’s no better way to fill my days with words than to begin the Summer Sessions. I’m actually quite thrilled, because not only am I keeping my promise, but I am doing my part as a member of the Vain Girl’s Club, the one most want to be a part of but haven’t found their way to orientation. Consider this your introduction.
summer session 01: the guide to an ultra chic + super vain summer
Most times when the word vain enters the chat, noses turn and eyes roll and egos are bruised and teeth grind and deep inhales swallow up nearly all the available oxygen around us. Because vain girls, historically, have been deemed useless girls. Troubled girls. Difficult girls. Even dumb girls.
But I beg to differ. Well, not quite beg. I don’t recall begging for anything in my life. It’s rather tasteless, frankly. So, let’s retrace. What I meant was… I disagree.
Snobby.
Conceited.
Selfish.
Haughty.
Unorthodox.
I’d accept those. But I’d also challenge what she’s being compared to or who she’s being compared to. Because history also says that women are meant to be servants caretakers of the home, the husband, the children, and the family structure.
Judging by the parameters history has placed around the idea of what or who a woman is, then the world would like you to believe vain women are useless, troublesome, and difficult. But, truthfully, she’s in tune with the one person she was supposed to forget while continuing to fuel the lifestyle, ego, image, structure, and fire of others.
She’s aware.
Self-aware.
She’s a wanderer.
She’s a wonder.
She’s rare.
And the idea of her existence makes the hairs on the back of necks stand. She rubs most the wrong way. Others want to be her or be next to her or be with her or strip her of the power she possesses.
It’s not her words or her accolades that precede her. Neither is it her position or status or financials. It’s not about where she’s been or what she’s done or what she’s seen. It’s about one thing— One very important thing to her. One that is prioritized day and night and evening and afternoon and wee hours.
It’s her beauty.
And while that might sound senseless, it makes perfect sense. To me.
Without ever saying the words to me, my mother demonstrated one thing that I carry with me like a shield of honor.
How you show up matters more than what you’re saying, how you’re doing, or what you’ve done. If you don’t present yourself well, no one is going to care about anything that comes from your mouth or how much better than the next person you can get the job done. Show up your best self, every time. Everywhere.
That was never said to me, but it was translated through my mother’s actions. And that has led me to believe that vain girls are the best kind of special. They’re a lovely kind of woman. They’re a rare species. While the world wants them to remain endangered, I am doing my part to make sure they aren’t.
So, I dedicate this series to the girls who can’t stand to miss a nail appointment, never ‘throws’ something on, creates her entire schedule around her maintenance appointments, hunts down their estheticians, has a forty-step skincare routine, understands fashion, dresses according to their build, wardrobes are filled with flattering pieces, are always put together, study looks, can put together a killer fit with their eyes partially closed, smell as good as they look, and turn every head in the room when they walk in–unintentionally. Because we don’t do it for everyone else. We actually do it for ourselves.
Now, my goal is to make these sessions as swift as I can, but that’s asking a lot of myself. As stated, I’m a writer, and I am windy. Wish me luck.
Summer Session 01: The Secrets to Sexy Summer Hair
While a mindset shift is the first step to an ultra-chic and super vain summer, I assume you have your head in the game already. That’s why you’re here, so we don’t need to talk about how important it is to shift your thoughts and break free of everything they’ve taught you about the female’s presence. If so, please drop a comment, and I will circle back after this article is in the atmosphere.
Now…
Understand that the vanity of a woman is the main character of this story. This means she’s hardly undone. Externally, she has it together. Starting with her hair.
The Secrets to Sexy Summer Hair
Avoid ponytails: Your perimeter is praying you don’t put your hair in too many ponytails this summer. As quick and easy as the style is, it’s eating away at parts of your hair that frame your pretty face. Too many ponytails make blunt cuts, trims, and natural styles difficult because you’ll find yourself trying to fill in gaps the tension from ponytails has created.
Bonnets don’t barge out of the door: I honestly don’t care who has told you differently. A bonnet is equivalent to a nightgown in my eyes. Those pieces are reserved for your home. When you step outside, your bonnet isn’t permitted to do the same. You’re not partners; you’re acquaintances. They serve a purpose (protect your hair during sleep, showers, and downtime). Once that purpose has been served, you part ways.
Invest in scarves: Multipurpose. The versatility of a scarf will leave you stunned. Scarves can be used to protect your hair (just as bonnets do), while also being a fashion piece. The same scarf you wore to bed to keep your wrap in place can be tied around your head stylishly to protect your hair while on a catamaran trip to the open waters. Or to the concert to be sure your leave-out doesn’t show once it’s sweated out. Or to the rodeo. Or with sunglasses to enhance any fit you’re wearing for the evening. Or to work when you ran out of time to finish your hair.
Steam/hydration treatments: Summer is a tricky time for our hair. Make sure it’s hydrated. Every time you shampoo your hair this summer, take a few minutes to hydrate it with a steam treatment or repair it with a mask that is packed with moisture and nourishment.
Straightening system: Don’t fill your lungs with flat iron smoke. Instead, invest in a straightening system that will keep your hair silky for six weeks without damaging your curl pattern in the process. Not only will this save you time, but it’ll save your hair, too, keeping it sexy for summer, fall, winter, and spring.
Low manipulation styles: Twist outs, braid outs, wash and go, flat twists, chunky twists, finger coils, and the list goes on. Let your hair breathe. Summer is so forgiving when it comes to low manipulation hairstyles. The older it gets in the summer, the bigger and better it becomes. This keeps your scalp free of tension and tenderness. And, not to mention, you can run your hands freely through your hair.
Avoid lace (if you can): Think–tan lines, scorching heat, lifting, sticky glue, sun beaming on your closure, dewy makeup… you’re thirty minutes from home and not quite ready to end your day. Bummer.
Half wigs: Think–quick, easy, believable, low maintenance, no glue, no closure, easy blend, and protective. The girls are LOVING the simplicity of half wigs. Within ten minutes, you can have yourself a presentable (and super cute) style that will survive the brunch, dinner, drinks, dip in the pool, and dancing all night.
1-2 trims: Don’t forget them. Summer is fun, but dead ends can ruin any good style. Be sure to have your ends clipped at least once during the summer. Keep your curls fresh and your styles clean with freshly snipped ends. Remember, length is NOT seeing strength on any level when it comes to your hair. Cut it off. It’ll grow back healthier and stronger.
Keep the braids (with extensions) to a minimum: Sorry to bring you bad news, but braids are not always a good decision. Braids damage our hair far more than many care to admit. Braids split your ends so far up your shaft that a hair medic is needed to save what they leave behind. I’m not saying you shouldn’t get braids, because I understand. However, keep them to a minimum and don’t keep them in for long. Between tension, synthetic fibers, heaviness, poor maintenance, and lengthy wear, braids can transform from a protective style to one you’ll need years to recover from. So once the vacay ends, snip and unravel.
Stock up on your go-to products: Cecred drops, curl mousse, detangling spray, heat protectant, leave-in conditioner, shower caps, hair masks, detangling brushes, hair ties (soft and harmless), and more. Reserve a portion of your budget at the beginning of or mid-summer and stock up on all your hair necessities. This cuts down on hair fatigue and keeps you from worrying if you have what you need before starting a style.
Invest in hair perfume: Game changers. I’ve stopped using my perfume to spritz my hair. It was a habit that kept my hair from smelling like the products I used to obtain my desired style. Lately, I’ve been making my own hair fragrances to couple with fragrances I love or have designed for my fragrance line –Huffington Fragrance House. Once you’ve fallen in love with a hair perfume, spray your sheets, pillows, bonnets, scarves, and wigs. Thank me later.
Create a simple hair calendar: Whether you get your hair styled professionally or do it at home, this will cut down on the stress your hair can cause. It also helps you plan better (for trips, events, etc) around your lifestyle. Ex. Dates should include hair appointments or days you’ll do your own hair. They should include take-downs, deep conditions, when to order hair, what colors you’ll be wearing, what events you’ll be attending, vacation plans, date-night styles, and weeks your hair can rest.
Create a lookbook: This will partner with your calendar to make your life easier. Whether from Google or Pinterest, create a lookbook for your hair. Find styles you love and match them with the dates you’ve marked on your calendar to tend to your hair. Having inspo helps. It limits hair fatigue.
Decide on your go-to: Everyone has one. Mine… Natural. Blunt. Dark brown/black. Middle part. Find yours. Go through your pictures over the last five years. Your go-to style will be worn more than any style in that timeframe. It fuels your confidence. It feels good no matter the day, time, month, or year. It fits almost any (or probably any) occasion. You’re invincible the moment you meet again.
Invest in a good straightener: Not the cheap kind. Not the popular kind. Not the kind you caught on sale. The good kind. The one that’s less damaging and truly helps train your hair to heat. Ceramic if your hair is fine. Titanium if your hair is thick or coarse. Do not skip the heat protectant. You’ll regret it later.
Get familiar with your local beauty supply store: My mother added this tip to this session. She says that beauty supply stores should be studied. They have baskets just like Walmart and Target and other stores many frequent. Carve out time to visit the store and browse each aisle so you know what you’re being offered to take care of your crown. She insists on women being their gentlest selves in the beauty supply store. Be curious. Ask questions. Explore. Walk around. Be unrushed. Unhurried. Unbothered. This time should be held near to your heart, just like grocery shopping and vacation shopping.
Learn your hair type and what works best for it: You won’t know what your hair needs until you discover who it is, what it likes, and what makes it do weird things. Don’t be afraid to try new products, techniques, or find people who have hair that’s similar to yours. YouTube used to be our go-to for learning about our hair. I’m not sure where the socials went wrong, but I pray it still reigns supreme in that area. I pray it’s not forgotten. Because videos were long and informative. So many people understood their hair better, and so many people avoided mistakes that others had made with their hair.
Dry shampoo: Girl. That’s it. That’s all. Get the dry shampoo. Save yourself a little more time. Shampoo it later.
Flexi rod your curls at night: Keep the heat to a minimum. Roll or rod your hair at night to refresh your curls by morning. This also helps cut down on prep time. It’s a lifesaver for the girls who aren’t great at curling their hair.
Pin curl your curls before they cool down: For sexy, bouncy curls that will last for hours, don’t let them fall. Roll it up, pin it down, and spray it with some holding spray before moving on to the next curl. Once you release them–chef’s kiss!
Use bobby pins with padding beneath: The last thing you want is wrinkles or lines in your hair. To prevent your bobby pins from leaving their marks, be sure to buy the pins with padding or use a paper towel. This keeps your curls or your wrap seamless without indentations.
Hair accessories: Get them. The claws. The gold clips. The hair broaches. The jewels. The stones. The headpieces. Get it. I promise you won’t regret any of it. They scream luxury and timelessness and poise and audacity and confidence and femininity. Oh goodness, they are my favorite kind of sexy.
Stash a care bag: The summer can be brutal on our hair. Just like you have a hygiene bag and a period pouch with pads, tampons, deodorant, body mist, and single-use wash cloths inside… Create one for your hair needs. There’s a lot of hair in my house. A bag in each car is necessary because we never know when we might have a hair mishap. Hair ties, hair clips, bobby pins, leave-in, detangler, combs, brushes, bows, and the list goes on. Stay ready, honey.
Make hair goals: Pretty hair doesn’t mean good hair. Protected hair doesn’t mean good hair. Always have goals for your natural hair. Always strive to reach those goals. And don’t be afraid to start from square one to achieve those goals. I want the front of my hair to catch up to the back by winter. I want healthier edges by spring. I want fuller hair by next year. Don’t let your dreams end with your hair. It’s where they should begin.
Undone isn’t an option: Understand that you should never step foot outside of your house with your hair undone unless you’re headed to get it done. Even then, it should be presentable. Hats, scarves, twists…
Well, I tried, but my fingers and my thoughts just kept at it. I could go on, but I’ll stop here. Hopefully I’ve mentioned something in this article that will help you get sexier hair this summer.
I’ll be back soon. Very soon. And we’ll be talking dewy, sexy summer skin… an unforgettable glow that will have you looking like you’ve been personally kissed by the sun and the sea.
If you’re into this kind of thing, you’ll love my monthly snail mail club – The September Letter.
This was such a refreshing read . It literally felt like girl talk . I would love to hear more on shifting your thoughts and breaking free of everything they’ve taught about women’s presence . As that is something I am currently trying to learn . 🩷
Me and my low bun go together real bad because of my sensory issues. 😅 I do twists but I put them in a low bun. What else can I do? Braids/extensions/wigs are overwhelming.