i'm saving the energy i give to others this year
S2E4: life is beating us all tf up!
I was sitting with my thoughts as I normally do.
Observing everything.
Thinking every thought.
Trying to make sense of things.
Finding solace in silent resolutions.
Just thinking…
And something said to me…
There are two types of people in this life. There are people who let life happen to them, and there are people who make life happen for them.
You are not responsible for flipping the coin for the people who are letting life happen to them, because you are one to make life happen for you.
Besides, as soon as you turn the corner, they’ll turn their coin back around. It’s more comfortable on that side. It’s warmer. The other side is cold. Unfamiliar. And feels too much like success. They’re afraid of succeeding. They’re safer in their silhouette, hiding and hoping to remain unseen.
Put away your seeds this year. You won’t be sowing in gardens with undernourished soil and a year-round dry season.
You’ve been trying to sow into those who are beyond redemption. There won’t be a harvest for them. They’re not looking to be saved. They’re most comfortable with settling.
Most comforted by their sorrows.
Most comforted by their errors.
Most comforted by chaos.
Most comforted by sadness.
Most comforted by the grief of an unfulfilling life, unmet goal, missed opportunity, failed relationship, loss of control, or the sheer distance from the life they’ve always wanted and where they are now.
And if there’s nothing more you know about grief, it’s that it has no timeframe. It moves when it’s ready. It stays as long as it wants. It lingers. And, it loathes liberation.
So pack your tools away in the garage or pour them back in your garden. But don’t mind the others. They will find their own seeds to sow when their desires outweigh their disappointments.
As those words wrapped around my neck and held on tightly, I began to gain more clarity. And another intention was added to 2026.
Moving forward, I want to be intentional about where I plant seeds. I want to plant them with people who are prepared for a harvest. Those who have been waiting to harvest. And who are willing to work until the harvest is upon them.
It’s been fifteen years of advice, suggestions, strategy, time, energy, ideas, funds, and thoughts… Because I genuinely crave happiness and success for everyone around me.
But, slowly, I’ve learned that not everyone around me craves success and happiness for themselves. Even if it spills from their mouths, their actions tell the true story.
So, I owe it to myself to be more vigilant. To be more reserved with my offerings. To be careful with my excitement when I began to visualize what’s possible for others. To seal my lips when ideas are pitched. To keep quiet, even though my ability to strategize and create a plan in a matter of seconds wants me shouting at the top of my lungs with fifty ways to maximize the potential of their idea. To make room for my seeds somewhere in my garden.
Because while it’s the most beautiful thing to see something you inspired or helped succeed flourish in real time, it’s heartbreaking to see the bones piling up in the graveyard of unused ideas, strategy, energy, potential, time, faith, labor, and funds.
Being a visionary is my gift, and it is my curse. It’s brought me as much joy as it has pain. I am slowly grasping the concepts I’ve missed and gradually understanding that what I see clearly is still a blur to everyone else.
In so many ways, I’m to blame for my naivety in this particular realm. My judgment is spot on in every other area of my life. Discernment is my greatest blessing. But, even when I know things might not come to fruition for others, I still try, hoping that somehow the success will materialize anyhow… anyway. But, it won’t. And, I understand that now.
It won’t!
Life beats everyone the fuck up… daily. You can either lie down and allow it or get up and fight back. But you can’t do both. Neither can you stay on the ground too long because you’ll never have the strength to get up and begin swinging.
You have to strap up your boots at a young age. Bring out your claws or squeeze a whole fist. Be prepared for whatever it throws your way, because the blows will come.
No matter the tax bracket. No matter the circumstances. No matter what.
Put away your tools…
That’ll be my constant reminder.
Because they’re not ready to make life happen for them. They want to keep letting life happen to them a little while longer. Not because it’s their happy place. But, because deep down they're afraid.
Afraid of winning.
Afraid of failing.
Afraid of flying.
Afraid of falling.
Afraid of it working out.
Afraid it’ll never work out.
Just afraid.
This feels like wisdom gained over time through experience. The seeds, the soil, and the restraint feel more like care than separation. There is a soft sadness in recognizing that not everyone is prepared for the harvest, and a gentle comfort in accepting that. Putting away your tools feels like choosing to be kind to yourself. Thank you for trusting us with the quiet reality of being a visionary.
Although I’m just reading this, it’s probably the most resonating thing I’ve read all week. I get these nudges, or deep feelings that I really need to focus on my own shit these days. Water my damn self. I had a realization that I was putting forth more effort and time in a friendship that was costing me a lot of my time, energy of love away from myself. I found myself going out of the way for this person and didn’t get the same in return. So yes, I will be more “reserved with my offerings”. 🤎