A bit ago, I stood in front of my mirror with the eyelash curler to my lashes, thinking…
Becoming the host of my friend group is the best unintentional mistake I’ve ever made.
I’d be lying if I said I was upset about it. Overwhelmed by it. Or figure it’s not all that necessary because it is.
I looked around the table full of those closest to me while hosting the first dinner party this year, and smiled.
I thought…
She was there for me when I needed a listening ear.
He was there for me when I needed a laugh.
She picks up every time I call.
She keeps me sane.
She’s always around when I need her.
She keeps my soul gentle and my softness alive.
Everyone around the table had been a vital part of my journey to becoming the woman I am today. And, honestly, I don’t ever want to glaze over their contributions to my mental, emotional, physical, and financial well-being.
Their contributions are the real reason I began the hosting era of my life.
It’s my way of saying so many things that don’t fall from my lips often but are in my heart, head, and the tip of my tongue.
I love you.
Thank you.
You’re important to me.
You matter.
I need you.
I’m elated you’re in my life.
You’re a true friend.
I appreciate you.
Every tini detail I pour into dinner parties, social gatherings, or craft nights is considered with love and light and purity. It’s a sure way to let my friends know — I am not above catering to your needs, as you have catered to mine at some point in this friendship.
Serving those I love brings me joy. And that’s what has led me to begin the first series on Girl Work. Because hosting is just that. It’s Girl Work.
During the hosting era, we will cover the following:
Host Something: The Petition (below)
The Tini Details (invitations, crafts, decorations, locations, drink menu, themes, etc)
Super Secret Hosting Hacks (cooking, ordering, pre-planning, guest requirements)
The Ultra-Chic Guide to Tablescapes (setting the table, glassware, table decor, etc)
The Dreamiest Hosting Capsule (building your hosting capsule)
Grab your pen + paper. Prepare to take notes, because this series will leave you with a lot to look forward to. Now, let’s dive into the first topic, Host Something.
Host Something:
As someone who loathes going outside unnecessarily, yet still cringes at the idea of others being in my personal space, hosting sounded more like nails on a chalkboard than unfiltered laughter and utter contentment.
But that all changed over a year ago when the desire to gather my friends around the table to cut out images to piece on a board that would serve as a reminder of our goals and the promises we made to ourselves outweighed all else.
The urge was overwhelming. The vision must have replayed in my head sixty-four times. Every detail. Every question. Every utensil. Every dish. Every crafting supply. Everything.
I thought of every reason not to shoot for the stars, but it was unlike me. Settling or going against my intuition has never served me.
So, I decided to toss caution to the wind. I created an invitation and sent it to all of my friends in the same city. Given that there aren’t many of them.
Still, their RSVPs poured in. It was the first piece of confirmation that girl work was beginning. On the night of, there was a single cancellation. It happened to be the second piece of confirmation that girl work was necessary.
By the night’s end, emotionally-charged responses to questions posed on the detailed printout I’d designed, beautiful vision boards, declarations, and sweet promises of betterment were the final pieces of confirmation that girl work had prevailed.
They were petitions…
To wonder again.
To plan again.
To create an invitation again.
To send out a mass text again.
To prep again.
To bring everyone together again.
To give written permission to pause again.
To welcome smiles again.
To bring joy again.
To do something good again.
To host again.
That was a year ago. I’ve gathered my friends and family around the table again and again and again since then. Admittedly, it’s the most fulfilling task I’ve completed on this side of adulthood, aside from birthing children.
So, this is my petition for you to host something. Big or small. And, here’s why.
They need it.
Showing up is not easy. Not even for yourself sometimes, and especially not for others. When someone shows up at my door to attend anything I’m hosting, I am certain of at least one thing.
They need it.
More than me sometimes. More than others sometimes. And, I can’t say how much it means to provide whatever they need that day or evening or night. A hug. Laughter. A smile. A joke. Food. A picture. Community.
Something. As a friend, providing that safe space is essential.
It doesn’t have to be perfect.
For my first hosting, I thought… Gosh, there will be more people here than I have chairs. They’ll need room. They’ll need space to work. And, what will we eat? If I cook, the kitchen will need to be cleaned before they arrive.
The list went on for hours. Quite literally. But, in the end, I said to myself, “It doesn’t have to be perfect. It just has to be.”
And, it’s true. You don’t have to have the perfect setup, the perfect amount of space, the perfect table, the perfect menu, or the perfect entertainment pieces. All you need is the will to gather with good intentions. Everything else will fall into place.
Do not let the pursuit of perfection ruin a good thing. Host it. Perfect it later.
Outside costs so much.
Let’s be honest. I am down at least $500 by stepping out of my house and participating in the world. While the funds are there, who wants to spend them all the time?
And for some, it’s a stretch. Bills are eating holes through their checks before they touch their accounts. Children are expensive. Maintenance is outrageous. Therapy is more than the light bill. And, food prices are constantly rising.
Hosting is an all-inclusive experience for guests. Drinks. Laughter. Food. Fun. Good conversation. A little therapy. Sweets. Games. And the latest tea.
Almost everything is reusable.
This is one of the things I love most about hosting. Almost everything is reusable. You’ll begin building your hosting capsule one event at a time. And, with each hosting, you’ll purchase less because you won’t need as much. Everything in your cabinets will be used again.
Glassware.
Table linen.
Dinner napkins.
Silverware.
Liquor (the leftovers).
Food (for at least two days).
It’s all reusable. Quite frankly, you might not need to purchase anything at all, because everything in your cabinet right now is usable. This takes me back to my second point. It doesn’t have to be perfect. It just has to be.
Making memories.
Ahhhhh. As a memory keeper, someone who quite literally walks around with a camera at any event, this is music to my ears.
Hosting your friends makes for the most fond, loveliest memories a girl could hope for. The reduction of chaos, loud music, yelling, screaming, conflict with intoxicated individuals, sweaty bodies, and over-the-top security personnel makes for a damn good night.
Make sure there’s a theme. Have everyone dressed to match it. And, snap away.
Recall moments in your friendship you’ll never forget.
Have another laugh about that one thing that’ll never not be funny.
Remind them of the time you almost lost your lives together.
Don’t let them forget about the crazy guy.
Bring up that time on vacation.
Smile until your jaws hurt. Laugh until your throat hurts. Talk until your vocal cords are hoarse. That’s what the hosting era is for.
It’s your own little social club.
Honestly, I won’t be elaborating because hell yeah.
A few minutes of attention from a friend could save a friend’s life.
Eight minutes. Eight minutes of attention from someone you love and trust can save your life. When I learned this, I think it broke my heart and healed me at the same time. I was listening to a podcast, and a guy mentioned the rule that had been established in their friend group. He said that when a friend is feeling low or at the point of no return, they call and they must ask…
Do you have 8 minutes?
It’s their secret cry for help without ever having to express the words. And, for eight minutes or more, the caller has their friend’s undivided attention.
That’s a phone call. Imagine what eight minutes of joy must do for the human brain! Hostings go on for hours. That’s enough dopamine to carry on for weeks.
Friends matter. So do their lives.
Host something.
That’s it for today. Let’s get into the tini details next, ladies. See you soon.
muah,
girl work
yearning for a place of my own right now ;,) i can’t wait to finish university and live somewhere where i can host a group of friends! i truly hope my future looks like this
I can’t wait to live alone to do something like this