there's one type of person nobody forgets

S2E2: because our hearts won't let us

I found myself lost in thought not long ago. On my drive home, I asked myself… what type of people are remembered?

And, I don’t mean the famous or wealthy or horrible kind of people. You know, movie stars, singers, artists, wildly successful entrepreneurs, murderers…

No. I mean people. People with a distinctive core that is unable to be forgotten—by anyone.

Not because they’re pretty or smart or stylish. Not because they are always around. Not because they are closest to you.

The thoughts began rolling in…

I was quickly reminded of my child. The ball of fire I have crowned the most dramatic child to ever see the earth’s surface. On the flip side of their explosiveness, there’s a part of them I never want to change. I never want them to let go of. I never want them to lose. I never want the world to strip them of.

Their thoughtfulness.

I have ‘just because’ cards lined up in the study. On any given day, I’m tasked with a store run so they can buy a gift for someone they’re thinking of (sometimes that person is me).

“Can you take me to buy you a water bottle?”

“Can you take me to buy you a gift?”

“I want to make Dad something.”

“I made this for —.”

“But, I worked so hard to make this for — to make her/him feel better.”

Their thoughtfulness has often led me to believe I am not thoughtful enough. It has led me to take notice of when others are being thoughtful and make note of those who are most thoughtful around me.

One person in particular stood out immediately. Within a year of becoming friends, I’d stopped myself from crying at least six times in her presence or from something she’d done in preparation for her absence.

Every date she thought was important to me, she was sure to remind me to stop and smell the roses. Some of which she actually gifted. She’s aware of how fast life passes me by, and stopping to celebrate wins is rare. But her thoughtfulness forced me to.

One day, I walked into my office, prepared to begin writing my next novel. Everyone around me knows it can be stressful for me sometimes. Not the writing itself, but the limited mental capacity that I’m forced to operate in, in order to become one with my characters.

There was a note on my desk. Simple. Straight to the point. Wishing me well on writing my next novel.

For releases, she knew I loved purchasing a personal-sized cake to share with the people who saw a different version of me during the time I was writing. Once she came into my life, I didn’t purchase another cake. She found so much joy in making them for me.

Cards.

Cakes.

Cookies.

The most beautiful set of wine glasses.

Jewelry.

Time.

Energy.

Effort.

I was always surprised at her audacity to be so kind, wearing it as a badge of honor as if the world isn’t as shitty as it is. But then I remembered, thoughtfulness doesn’t cater to a certain environment, and neither is it situational. It’s natural.

Our dynamic wasn’t one-sided. Reciprocation for me came naturally. It comes naturally. It helps me sleep better at night. So does sowing seeds. And watering the gardens of the people around me.

I’m still not sure what I poured into her or how much I poured into her or if I helped her cross bridges she couldn’t cross alone… but her thoughtfulness makes me feel like I did something right.

Because to be in favor of a thoughtful person is a blessing that can’t be disguised.

My friend moved away. Secretly, I cried for two days because I don’t have many people in my life like her. I wasn’t emotional because our work relationship was ending. Not at all. I was sad because our time together was ending.

However, after the clock struck midnight, marking the transition into the new year, I was reminded that thoughtfulness doesn’t have a zip code. Neither does it whither with distance. I opened a vintage Polaroid camera she’d sent through the mail simply because I’d asked her where hers had come from a few weeks ago.

She’s aware of how much of a memory keeper I am and how much I love film. I was searching for a camera for weeks. She’d already put one in the mail.

Just like my child, my friend made me wonder if I’m thoughtful enough. She is also one of the reasons for the goal to be more thoughtful moving forward.

Though it’s beginning to sound like a post about a friend I’ve had for only a year who has shown me the art of thoughtfulness… (unrushed, unchaotic, guiltless) It’s more than that.

It’s about me remembering the people who life won’t allow me to forget.

So, as I crossed the light, just minutes from home, it finally hit me. I had the answer I’d been longing for since I settled into my vehicle.

A thoughtful person is never forgotten.

Your heart won’t allow it.

It won’t let you forget how they made it feel.

How fast they made it beat.

How much it expanded when they did that thing they did or said that thing they said.

How much better it felt after they said or did that thing,

How much it longs for more of that from the world in general.

How rare it is to have a thoughtful person in your world.

How much of a blessing they are.

How gentle their core is.

How genuine they are.

How they helped you heal a little more.

How they made space for you.

How they thought of you even when no one else was.

How they think of you even when no one else does.

The nature of thoughtfulness and softness is linear.

The nature of thoughtfulness and desire beautifully co-exists.

The nature of thoughtfulness and consideration is interwined.

To be thoughtful must be such a soul cleanser. It requires real work that doesn’t feel like work for those it comes naturally for. It feels like resetting, refueling, recharging… recalibrating.

birthdays…

holidays…

special occasions…

milestones…

things mentioned in conversation…

triggers…

inventory…

colors…

preferences…

Their ability to hold space for these things and to store them so effortlessly for when the perfect moment comes… It’s fascinating.

A supporting friend/family member is much different from a thoughtful friend/family member. I am grateful to have both.

A supportive person is the actual cake. A thoughtful person is the icing and cherry on top.

Somewhere inside of every thoughtful person is a longing… a desire… to be considered the way they consider others. Not in a selfish way. In fact, in the most selfless way, because they believe all humans should receive the kindness they give. This ideology isn’t reserved for only them and the people they love.

They’re strangers to scarce thoughts as such. Deeply, the idea of it being the human experience is the foundation for their actions, words, and wonders. Thoughtful people aren’t only doing it for you. They’re doing it because it fuels parts of them that are rare in this world. It’s dopamine. It’s pleasure. It’s passion.

I’ll end this by saying how grateful we are for thoughtful people. I pray their lives are full of joy. And I pray for reciprocation. I pray life brings them peace. I pray their energy is shared with deserving people. I pray their hearts are always fulfilled. I pray they never feel empty or hopeless. I pray they never lose their spark. I hope they are never forced to be thoughtless.